Yesterday, I was playing a card/board game with my family. The game is strategy-based, where each card has a special power, and the objective is to move four small balls to the end.
It was my first time playing, so they explained the rules to me, and we began. After about 15 minutes, the game started to slow down as everyone began overthinking their moves. I told them, "It's a simple game—don't overthink it. Play the high cards to move the farthest and use the special cards when they can help."
We continued playing, and after another 15 minutes, my first ball had reached 20 dots out of 60. Then, one of the players used a special card that made me start over. They all laughed at me, but I just sipped my tea and stayed calm. I knew it was just the beginning and there was a long way to go. I wanted to keep my emotions in check so I could focus on winning.
As we played on, I started telling them every 10 minutes that I was going to win. I made them feel it, and I believed it myself. There was no point in thinking otherwise!
After 45 minutes, most of us were close to winning. I had three balls at the end and just one left. But again, they used the same trick, and I fell behind. When a family member walked by, I told him, "Life will knock you back multiple times its your choice to get back, put your emotions aside and keep trying" They all laughed.
I then declared that I would win in 7 minutes— ( I set a specific time to win ). One player won first, but I didn't care. Ten minutes later, I won the second.
Moral of the story:
- Play the marathon, not the sprint. When setbacks occur, you have a choice: get up and try again, or stay were you are and chose to feel bad and beat yourself for not winning.
- The winning mindset: I made it clear to myself and others that I was aiming to win, but I also didn’t care if I lost. I think this concept helped me be peaceful, knowing that no matter the outcome, I wanted to feel good about my efforts. Beating myself up over losses is pointless; instead, I chose to get up and try again.
- Setting a specific time to win: I liked that I aimed to win in 7 minutes. This helped me focus because time is limited I need to make most of my moves. . Even though I won 10 minutes later, it felt good to be close to my winning time goal.
- Understand your tools, or "special powers." Whenever someone tried to set the balls back, I patiently waited to play the special cards that would help me bypass the dots and win faster. Meanwhile, I used whatever moves I could to keep progressing. Its the strategy of using whatever resources I have now to keep the momentum healthy.
- "Out of context, but back to your 'special powers': we all have unique skills, whether naturally gifted or developed through years of obsession. The key is to understand these strengths and make the effort to translate them into something useful for the world.
- The rules are as simple as you make them: if you tell yourself something is hard and requires a lot of thinking, it will be hard, and you'll overthink it. But if you decide it's simple, your mind will make it easier. Dr. Huberman explains that we all experience a peak where something feels difficult at first, and that's completely natural. However, once we push through that initial phase, things get easier. People who likes to solve puzzles usually enjoy this feeling. Might be a good idea to train myself on enjoying that.
- While you can't control external events like the skills of other players, the weather, or accidents, you can control your mind, your reactions to the events, and your influence on peoples feeling about you "you need to be the scary smart optimistic person".
And yes, I take games seriously. They’re a small simulation of your attitude toward real life challenges.