"The person you spend the most time listening to in life is yourself so strive not to lose their respect" - Mark Manson
"Self-respect and self-esteem largely come from having faith in your own words. Imagine treating yourself as a friend you care about, yet every time you invited them to lunch, they either showed up late, didn’t show up at all, or didn’t even text back. They consistently failed to keep their word. Over time, you wouldn’t believe in them, you wouldn’t want to be friends with them, and you’d stop inviting them out. Now realise, you are that friend to yourself." - Chris Williams
The relationship you have with yourself shapes your perspective, actions, and overall happiness. So make it a voice you can trust and grow with.
How well you know yourself helps you navigate through hard days. I believe the first step is empathy (( listening )). I want my favourite "music" to be listening to myself: no music, no distractions, just me with me.
I’ve been reducing my social media time and stopped listening to music or podcasts while driving. Instead, I’ve been listening to myself. I wanted peace, and I think I found some. But then I realised I wasn’t speaking kindly to myself or offering constructive feedback. Instead, I was criticising myself for not being efficient at work, juggling too many projects after working hours, living a busy life with very low family time, neglecting my health, and losing sight of my priorities. Progress in every area of my life felt slow career, personal development, health, relationships everything seemed to take longer than I wanted.
I began to ask myself: Am I giving these projects more time and energy than they truly need? Am I just staying busy for the sake of being busy, or am I genuinely focused on tasks that are priorities and impactful in the long run? Am I driven by the fear of not keeping my promises to others or to myself?
Why is this happening? Maybe I’m not yet the person I need to become to reach these goals. Are my actions truly aligned with my ambitions?
→ What we repeatedly tell ourselves shapes our thoughts → Our thoughts become beliefs → Our beliefs become habits and actions. Over time, our actions turn into "facts" we are convinced of, and we start presenting those "facts" to others as normal truths. This cycle applies to both good and bad habits and actions.
I heard this concept from Yasser Alhazimi: "BE > DO > HAVE."
He used Cristiano Ronaldo as an example. Before taking a shot, Ronaldo tells himself: "I am the best.
Score it, score it, it's normal for you to score a goal" These affirmations shape his belief. From that belief, he takes action—years of disciplined training combined with striking the ball in the moment with the right force, angle, and strategy. The result? He scores and achieves his goal. The principle is clear: You will become what you consistently tell yourself, you will act in alignment with that belief, and then you will achieve the results you desire.
So, does this mean it’s a mindset problem that’s keeping me stuck and preventing me from having what I want? If so, how do I solve it? Lets try to fix myself "inside out"
To my internal voice:
First: Hi. You are the only guaranteed voice that will be with me whenever, wherever, and forever. We better be good, strong partners.
Second: I will listen to you. I will be very honest—about what I need and what I feel. If I do something wrong, speak up let’s fix it together. If I do something right, praise it, thank God for it, and let’s improve it.
Third: To build the right mindset every day, I want you to say 1+ words to me:
“I am a good Muslim, full, rich, calm, confident, funny, happy, honest, loving, a monster, smart, strong, focused, brave, someone who keeps promises to self and others, has a healthy mind and body, good-looking, creative, and has high-quality friends. I am proud of all what I did, I can control my feelings. I will figure things out no matter what. I am fearless, I constantly take good risks, and constantly levelling up my skills, my career, and my family quality time whether by designing life experiences or moving with the flow of opportunities. I can stop my bad habits and replace them with good habits.”
Example of listening to myself: If I don’t like my current career path, and most days I feel unmotivated or disconnected from it, I need to be honest with myself. First, admit it: "I don’t enjoy this." Then, shift my mindset by affirming daily, "I will figure it out. I am smart enough to change my career in the most efficient way possible." Finally, take actionable steps that align with what my intuition and logical planning tell me—whether that’s exploring new opportunities, learning new skills, or taking some time off to explore my natural skills that makes work not feel like work.
Your present mind is not your future, mature mind. It doesn’t yet realise that what seems unachievable now is, in fact, completely achievable. It doesn’t matter what today looks like whether you’re unhappy, your career isn’t where you want it to be, you’re not spending time on what matters, or you’ve lost a friend, a marriage, or a family member. What is failing now can be fixed. The days ahead will prove this it all starts with a belief shaped from our internal voices.
Leaving you with this "While you may not have power over what happens around you, you always have control over your mindset your internal voice from your brain-body and gut included"